


You Can Learn

by Poison_writes



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Inappropriate Use of Ability, M/M, OOC Damien, Out of Character, Self-Hatred, Unrequited Love, idk - Freeform, no beta we die like man, not really - Freeform, or not exactly, post events of the bright sessions, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:40:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22987267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poison_writes/pseuds/Poison_writes
Summary: Upon working as a photographer on for his friends band Mark stumbles upon familiar face. Things don't go according to anyone's plan.
Relationships: Mark Bryant/Damien
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	You Can Learn

Mark was mostly done for the day. The band was going for after-performance drink, but he was tired and didn’t feel like joining them would be too much of a good idea that day. He would have just gone straight to his hotel room and get some rest but then he felt it. Familiar tug at his mind. The intense want that, after having already feel it several times before, he recognised as not his own. The intense want to leave immediately and definitely not come anywhere near the bar. It was strange though, it was so much less intense than he could remember. It was almost quiet and easily overpowered if he tried. Maybe it was a bad idea but the decided to follow the string to from where it seemed to be broadcasting. From the bar.

He saw him as soon as he manged to push through the crowd. Damien was sitting at the bar with a drink in front of him. His hair was much longer then he remembered it, tied up in a messy bun on his head keeping them from looming over his face. His eyes were closed and he had intense look on his face, like he was trying very hard to concentrate. Mark set down next to him and the unfamiliar desire changed from want to almost panic. He wanted to _leave, leave, leave immediately, to turn his back and get the hell away from the club._ But he didn’t. Instead he said. ‘Damien, what are you doing here?’

Damien hissed, almost in pain, realising his ability didn’t do what he expected it would. He muttered ‘fuck’ under his breath. And then he finally managed to look at the man sitting next to him. ‘Hello, Mark,’ he said, and it sounded tired, broken somehow. 

‘What are you doing here?’ Mark asked. H could feel himself grow irritated. He definitely wasn’t sacred, as whatever Damien was trying to do with his ability obviously wasn’t working.

‘Getting a drink,’ he murmured. Looking at all the empty glasses in front of him, it obviously wasn’t just one. ‘I could ask the same, though.’

Mark hesitated, considering if he should or should not answer. There probably wasn’t any harm in doing so, he had to leave the town the day anyway. ‘I’m working. I do photography now. For the band.’

‘Ah, cool, cool,’ Damien nodded and giggled slightly. _Leave him alone, leave him alone, leave him alone_ , Damien’s ability tried to push again. It had no effect on Mark besides feeling its presence. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out Damien wasn’t there to cause any harm.

Mark though he’d get up and just leave him to whatever he was trying to do there, when the constant want to leave starting to mix with something else. _Don’t go. Don’t go. Stay, stay, stay._ Everything was getting mixed up and fuzzy and Mark wasn’t sure whatever Damien was trying to achieve.

‘I’m getting some mixed signals from you,’ Mark said and waved at the waiter. He ordered a coke. What the hell, he might just stay around for a bit. He was very curious. 

‘So you can feel it?’ Damien said. Surprised, but somewhat hopeful.

‘Am I not supposed to?’

Damien shrugged. ‘I dunno, it’s not what it used to be. This and that,’ he said nodding towards the empty glasses. The smell of scotch he was drinking made Mark feel certain type of want. It made him disgusted as well. Not all of the want was his. There was a stream of _get drunk, get drunk and forget, get drunk and pass out_ broadcasted from Damien. Mark knew that feeling, that certain, intense type of want all too well.

‘Are you drunk?’

Damien giggled. ‘What is it that obvious?’ He nodded at the bartender, who passed him another glass. ‘You on the other hand-,’ he didn’t finish the sentence, just stared at Mark’s glass of coke.

‘I’m trying to stop,’ he said, then shook his head and tried again. ‘I stopped.’ Before Damien could say any snarky remark he had prepared, he continued the interrogation. ‘So your ability is back?’

‘Why would you care?’ Again back to same mixture of want to leave and don’t go at the same time.

‘You know me, I’m naturally curious,’ he said. Sometimes he felt like his need to get along well with everyone around him was just making his life harder constantly.

‘It’s somewhat back. It works with non-atypicals just fine. Atypicals with some sort of mental ability it has been, well,’ he took a sip, ‘you wouldn’t believe how many of them are out there.’

‘I actually would,’ Mark said with a little smile.

‘Yeah, right.’ Damien finished his drink in one fast gulp. ‘I should go.’ He tried to stand up, his legs giving in under his weight immediately. Mark rushed to catch him. _Don’t leave him, don’t leave him, don’t leave him._ That actually felt like a good idea. He probably shouldn’t let drunk manipulator wander through streets alone.

‘Why don’t you let me get you back to your place?’ he said as he helped Damien stand properly.

‘You can’t.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

‘I’m not, actually,’ Damien sat back down. His body felt heavy. ‘I have been living in my,’ he took a deep breath, he was quieter than before as he continued. ‘I have been living in my car for past two weeks. Which was stolen today. So there isn’t really anywhere you could take me.’

‘Shit, Damien, I’m sorry.’

‘’s fine.’

Mark already hated what he was about to suggest, but the _don’t leave him alone_ feeling was much more intense now, as it was getting mixed up with his own. ‘Why don’t you sleep this off in my hotel room?’

‘You don’t- I’m not- I don’t want to make you do this,’ Damien stuttered. Mark couldn’t believe that the man in front of him was the once cocky manipulator he used to know.

‘Well, you don’t seem like you can actually make me do anything right now,’ Mark said with a soft smile and he could see Damien’s face drop. He looked very tired.

‘Alright, whatever.’ Damien asked waiter to pay for both of them. As he did Mark felt a bit nauseous imagining that the money was probably stolen.

‘Where’d you get that money from?’ Mark asked when they were safely outside, he didn’t want to cause trouble by asking that where someone could hear. Damien was leaning on him for support as they walked.

‘Believe it or not but I have a job, or had,’ adding the past tense he sounded disappointed. A little ashamed maybe.

‘Wow, look at you.’

‘There’s not much to look at right now,’ Damien said quietly and he was probably right. ‘How have you been, Mark?’ That would have sounded genuine, if Mark wasn’t immediately hit with want to _yell at Damien, to be mad, to hate him, to punch him, to make him pay._ It was strangely violent and much more intense than anything that tried to push into his head from Damien that night. The last time he saw Damien the only thing he could feel from him was the want to forgive him. This was entirely other kind of extreme. He supressed it as much as he could.

‘I’m doing good, I’m glad I can actually get behind the lens again.’

‘Are you happy?’ And then there was the want to _hurt Damien_ again. The guy seemed pretty out of it.

‘Woah, calm down, I’m not,’ it got louder, trying to push from whatever mental wall Mark had, ‘I don’t want to do that. Stop it!’ He yelled the last sentence and pushed Damien away. He stumbled on his feet and luckily was able to lean against nearby lamp. 

Damien’s hands went up to his head, grabbing his hair and pulling at them. ‘Sorry, sorry, I don’t mean to, I’m sorry,’ apologies kept spilling out of him as his voice started to tremble.

‘Shit, are you crying?’ Mark wanted to reach out to him and pull his hands away from his face. He didn’t, it could have possibly made it worse. Whatever Damien was pushing onto Mark right now was still loud, but messier. _Hate him, hurt him, leave him, hate him, don’t go, leave, leave, make him pay, forgive him, hate him, hate, hate, hate him._ He didn’t consider to do that before, but however shaky it was at the moment, Mark took a hold of Damien’s ability, pushing out loud and clear message. _Calm down._ It took a few incredibly long seconds, before Damien processed whatever was happening, let go of his hair and stood up straight. The mental line, or whatever that was between them, suddenly clear again. Mark could feel cold panic run through him as he though he might have hijacked Damien’s ability completely again, but then quiet thought of want that wasn’t his made it into his mind. _Don’t be mad._

‘What the hell was that?’

‘’m sorry,’ Damien mumbled. His hair was all pulled out from the messy bun and completely covering his face as he was looking at his feet. He was definitely crying now. ‘Alcohol doesn’t mix well with my ability.’

‘Yeah, I can see that,’ Mark wonder if he would regret asking what he was about to. ‘Why do you want me to hurt you so bad?’ He slowly let go of the other’s ability again, he didn’t want to mess him up even more.

‘I deserve it,’ Damien still didn’t look up.

‘I mean yeah, probably, but I never felt that from you before,’ he felt that want push towards his mind again. ‘I don’t want to do that.’

‘You probably should though.’

‘Damien-,’

‘I’ve done _terrible_ things to you and I didn’t even realise it. I still kept thinking whatever I was doing was okay. That what I was doing with you was trying to form relationship. And I actually though that deep down you really liked me. No matter what I’ve done to you that you liked me one way or another. That the way I felt about you was both sided. That you owed me to feel about me certain way,’ Damien’s speech was frantic, trying to make sense of his drunken thoughts. ‘I just wanted you to make me sure all of that was a lie. That you hate me as you should. Make me remember it. So I don’t do that to anyone else. I just wanted to remember that no one will ever actually like me without me influencing them.’

Mark wasn’t sure how to respond. It seemed like Damien actually acknowledge his mistakes and genuinely regretted them. He didn’t think that was something he would ever witness. 

‘Damien can I-?’ he didn’t have time to finish that though before the other answered.

‘Anything.’

Mark nodded and slowly and much more carefully than before began to mimic Damien’s ability. Sending out the same message he did before: _Calm down._ And Damien did. ‘Come one, lets get you to bed.’

Damien nodded and let Mark guide him back to his hotel room. It didn’t seem like he wanted much than lie down along the way.

Mark help him to get to bed and quickly escaped to bathroom. Shower would be a good idea to sort his thoughts at the moment. It didn’t seem like Damien was much danger left alone. It was when he was stepping out of shower when Marks’s influence probably wore off. _Hurt Damien. Yell at him. Hate him. Hurt him. Beat him up. Hate him. Make him hurt. Make him pay. Push him into bed and –_

‘Damien!’ Mark almost burst out through the door. ‘Stop it, for fuck sake.’

Tears were streaming down Damien’s face and he was trembling on the bed. He was really that type of pathetic emotional drinker. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t help it!’

Mark didn’t even ask that time and just did whatever seem right (and probably the quickest) way to calm Damien. He finished his night routine and lied down next to him. The king sized bed was big enough for both of them.

‘Damien listen,’ he expected him to turn around to face him, but he didn’t. ‘I do hate you, a little bit. I did for the most part. I hate what you had done to me.’ 

He almost though Damien was asleep but then hi shoulders started to shake again. ‘I know,’ he whispered.

‘But I don’t think you deserve to suffer for that forever, to beat yourself up like this forever,’ Mark continued, ‘What I always wanted was for you to realise what you’ve done wrong. I’m still mad, I still hate you a little bit and I don’t think I can ever forgive you. But I hear your apology and I accept it. You can let go now. You shouldn’t keep wishing I’d hurt you the same. It wouldn’t make us even. It would make me a bad person for taking advantage of someone who is trying to get better.’

‘I loved you, you know,’ Damien said, still merely a whisper, ‘I though I did, but I don’t know if I really can love someone.’

_Hold him. Forgive him._

Mark reached out and placed a hand on Damien’s back, reassuring. ‘I think you can learn.’


End file.
